Life is a cycle of happiness, loss, grief, and hope when we narrow it down. Moving through it can feel unsettling at times. Especially when one’s circumstances feel too far beyond their control. But there’s beauty in life’s ever changing flow, which is that each phase comes with its own lessons. The preferred learning environment would of course be one of happiness and hope. Yet, we know periods of loss and grief can sometimes sneak up just as easily. The good news is, life is big enough to stop a challenging time from completely defining it! Resilience is what gears people up for future growth even in the midst of temporary hardship. It’s the character trait that motivates one to keep life defined through all changing phases. Leverage your personal use of control, connection, and coherence to stay resilient whenever life’s movement takes you off balance.
Resilience moves with, not against life’s current
Those who are resilient can accept and appreciate the fact that life moves. Much of that movement happens beyond one’s immediate control. Like when Netflix removes a movie on your watch list before you get the chance to watch it. Or, when a global pandemic shakes up your world; perhaps in more ways than one. Since aspects of life are interconnected, it’s typical for a change in one area to spill into others. Like a bowling ball that hits the right pin and knocks down surrounding pieces, so too can life. This ripple effect can lead people to feel off balance and without control when too many changes occur. As a way to avoid those and other unfavorable emotions, resistance often forms. but, resisting the inevitable or what’s too far beyond one’s control will only create further discomfort. You can embrace change and move along with it gracefully through three intentions:
- Look for elements within your control.
- Connect with others to overcome together.
- Create a cohesive narrative.
Control
Establishing control within your environment requires you to level-set. What are the realistic expectations for what you can and cannot change in a given circumstance? First, it’s about recognizing that life has certain systems, processes, and situations that you alone cannot change or fix. Then, the key is to direct that energy towards the details closer to you. The ones that you can manage! The goal is to take ownership of whatever resources are available to you. Big or small, you can leverage them to create structure and progress through change. Exercising control can be as foundational as deliberately making the bed each morning to keep a routine. Or as intentional as avoiding brands that conflict with your personal values while grocery shopping. However you define control, use it to reclaim your personal power when life itself feels much bigger than you.
Connection
When the world feels heavy, we have the people who carry that load with us to thank! It is social support that uplifts
spirits during periods of uncertainty. Those inside jokes. An extra warm hug. The gentle wipe of a tear. A much-
needed reminder that the future can be brighter than the past! Connecting with friends and family, both new and old,
helps keep one present through life’s passing moments. Actively participating within a community can support you
through change as you’re reminded that you’re far from alone. Resilient personality types often have a high need for
independence, as well. The drive to navigate challenges in solitude can become excessive if gone unchecked, so
choose circles that align with your interests and values while challenging the urge to retreat. Resilience is
established together!
Coherence
When it comes to building resilience, the mind relies on its ability to accurately perceive what’s even going on! It
wants to know what paths to take or avoid, and which actions make sense to proceed with. To keep you safe on that
journey, the mind is motivated to find the who, what, where, when, why and how of it all. It will look for consistency
across details to create one cohesive narrative, because that’s what it registers as safe. In the midst of processing
change, it’s important to be aware of the stories we tell ourselves. Are you in control as the narrator in your own
story? Or is your script managed by others? Meaning who gets to decide the direction of your life? The who, what,
where, when, why and how of your world? Even while navigating circumstances that are beyond your control, you
have the power to choose what you believe about it, how you make sense of it, and what course of action you decide
to take. To diminish feelings of overwhelm, empower yourself with information and turn those insights into a
coherent story. One that positions you to willingly manage your situation rather than fall victim to it!
Conclusion
Change carries the nature of uncertainty, which can leave people feeling unsettled and powerless as they navigate
the process. Yet, you can take actionable steps to reclaim your power whenever you find yourself feeling unstable.
Resilience as a powerful trait that we can all greatly benefit from! Rely on this trait as it strengthens you to work
against stagnation and towards growth. When life just feels like too much, focus on controlling what you can,
connecting with those who uplift your spirit, and summarizing all your moving parts into one cohesive
understanding.
